Whod you bang
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
