No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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