oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
