it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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