What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize