just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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