Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize