I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
