a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
