Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
