I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
