I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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