Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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