there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
