I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
