sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
