theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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