He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize