you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
