Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
