he wants to bone in the snuggie
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
