I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
