Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i believe in u and ur pee
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
