it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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