We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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