Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
