airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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