i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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