i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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