Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
