what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
