So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize