if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
