if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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