Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
