Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
