You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
