i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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