after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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