Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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