Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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