I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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