dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
