What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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