i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
