I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
