a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
