I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
