i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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