Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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