I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
