So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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