At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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