Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
