the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
