don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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