Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
