i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
