Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
