I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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