it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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